Sophia Davis Emotional manipulation can be difficult to spot because it often sounds like normal conversation on the surface. The manipulator establishes a “fog” of guilt and confusion and doubt which they use to control a situation or person. The specific phrases you learn about will help you recognize patterns which enable you to safeguard your emotional health.
“You’re just too sensitive”
This is a classic tactic used to invalidate your feelings, the manipulator uses your response to their actions as the new topic instead of addressing their wrongdoing. You start to doubt whether your feelings are “correct” and this leads you to say sorry for becoming upset.
“I never said that”
The phrase functions as gaslighting which makes you question your own memory abilities. The manipulator creates unstable conditions by denying actual events that took place. If you cannot believe your own mind then you will start to depend more on their perception of reality.
“Look what you made me do”
The person uses this statement to escape accountability for their wrongdoings. The person blames you for their aggressive behavior which includes yelling and lying and breaking promises because they claim you made them act that way. The situation forces you to accept responsibility for their inability to control themselves.
“If you really loved me, you would…”
The statement functions as emotional blackmail because it uses your love for them to control you, and this statement uses your feelings toward them to obtain their desired outcome, your boundaries become perceived as insufficient love which creates pressure to demonstrate your loyalty through actions you do not wish to perform.
“Everyone else thinks you’re being difficult”
The manipulator uses the phrase “everyone else” to create an imaginary group which makes you feel outnumbered. The group uses social pressure to create a situation where you feel different from everyone else which leads the group to expect that you will follow their commands so you will return to normalcy.
“I was only joking”
The statement functions as a common way to hide a direct insult through humor, the person uses this phrase to make you seem humorless after you get offended by a mean comment. The method provides them with the opportunity to express damaging comments without experiencing any repercussions.
“I guess I’m just a terrible person then”
The person will make a self-pitying dramatic announcement after you attempt to hold them responsible for their actions. The situation requires you to shift from discussing your grievance to providing comfort which turns the victim into an offender.
“You’re lucky to have me”
The statement works to decrease your self-worth through its content. The statement makes you seem flawed or “unlucky” which allows them to present themselves as someone who provides you a benefit by being in your life. The method increases your fear of leaving or speaking out.
“You’re remembering it wrong”
The phrase functions as a historical amendment tool which rewrites facts. They will twist small details of a story until the entire meaning of an event is changed in their favor which leaves you feeling exhausted and confused.
“Why can’t you be more like…”
The term triangulation describes how manipulators use comparisons between you and other individuals who can be either exes or friends or coworkers. The process creates competition and insecurity which pushes you to put in extra effort to obtain their desired approval.
